You Can’t Understand Your Child: A Parent’s Guide to Early Communication
Every child learns to communicate in their own way and at their own pace. As a parent, it can feel worrying when you notice your child speaks differently from peers. This doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong—it may simply be a difference in how they are learning.
This guide offers support in identifying communication difficulties, suggests general strategies to assist your child, and advises on when professional help might be beneficial.
Understanding Early Communication
Every child develops at their own pace when it comes to talking. However, some differences in speech and language development might be worth observing. Early identification and awareness of these differences can help parents offer timely support, improving their child’s language skills and overall confidence.
Common Signs
A child who uses shorter sentences or fewer words than their peers may benefit from additional support to develop vocabulary and confidence. While every child's speech and language development is individual, a widening gap between a child's abilities and those of their age group suggests that extra assistance might be beneficial.
For example, most children by age 3 are stringing together short sentences like "I want juice," but your child primarily uses single words like "juice," this may indicate a difference in communication development.
Gestures and Nonverbal Clues
Communication encompasses more than just verbal expression; it also includes various nonverbal cues like pointing, waving, or miming actions. These are crucial pre-verbal communication skills that develop before a child fully acquires spoken language. If your child uses few gestures or appears reluctant to engage with visual cues, they might benefit from support in learning to use these effectively in interactions.
Responding to Name or Sounds
If your 6 to 9-month-old child doesn't consistently react to their name or other common sounds, or seems distracted by or disengaged from voices and sounds, this may signal potential hearing issues or difficulties in processing and understanding spoken language.This may also indicate that they are still developing the ability to process language in social situations.
Communication Difficulties Emerge in Social Interactions
Group activities often reveal communication challenges, but with appropriate support, children can flourish. Social interactions are crucial for acquiring and practicing communication skills. These situations assess your child's ability to articulate their needs, comprehend others, and engage in group settings. Should difficulties emerge in these environments, it presents a chance to offer your child the additional guidance and assistance they might require to cultivate these vital skills.
Difficulty Joining Play
Children who struggle with verbal expression may hesitate to participate in social situations like playdates or games. This can be due to difficulties in understanding social cues and forming words quickly for conversations. While sometimes mistaken for shyness, these challenges in initiating or joining play could point to underlying issues with their expressive, receptive, and social communication skills. Structured support, such as guiding them through steps to join in or offering simple cues, can help children feel more confident and engaged socially.
2. Frustration or Tantrums
When children know what they want but can’t find the words to express it, frustration is a natural response. Gentle support can ease these moments and help them develop better ways to communicate their feelings. Tantrums may not stem from behavior issues, but rather from the child’s inability to articulate their thoughts clearly. When children can't express themselves, they may feel misunderstood, which often leads to outbursts. Offering alternative methods of communication—such as visuals, sign language, or simpler language models—can help reduce these frustrations and give them more tools to express themselves appropriately.
3. Limited Turn-Taking
Typical conversations involve turn-taking and reading social cues like facial expressions or tone of voice. If your child struggles to maintain this flow, or tends to dominate or withdraw from conversations, they may be having a hard time understanding or responding to these nonverbal communication cues.
Difficulty with turn-taking in conversations or social interactions may signal that your child is overwhelmed by the effort to understand social cues or formulate a suitable response. You can help them build confidence in their communication abilities and enhance their interactions with others by:
Role-playing exercises: Practicing different conversational scenarios.
Modeling conversations: Demonstrating effective communication.
Creating a relaxed social environment: Fostering a comfortable setting for interaction.
Everyday Conversation “Red Flags”
Observing your child's daily interactions at home offers valuable insights into their developing communication skills. These everyday moments allow you to see how they express themselves, form words, and respond in conversations. While mispronunciations and mistakes are a normal part of childhood development, persistent patterns or difficulties in these areas may indicate a need for further evaluation.
Unclear Pronunciation
Mispronouncing words is normal, but if speech remains hard to understand beyond age 3 or 4, professional advice might be useful. Speech clarity tends to improve as children grow, but some children continue to struggle with pronunciation as they get older. If your child’s speech is consistently unclear after the age of 3-4, it might be time to consult a professional. A speech-language therapist can offer strategies for pronunciation and articulation that will help your child speak more clearly and confidently.
2. Short or Repetitive Phrases
Language develops from single words to short phrases and then to full sentences. Typically, children start using two-word phrases around 18-24 months, moving to three- to four-word sentences by 2-3 years, and developing more complex sentences of four or more words by 3-4 years.
If your child frequently uses only single words or repeats phrases compared to peers, specialized support can help expand vocabulary, construct complex sentences, and build communication confidence. Early intervention boosts language development and social interaction.
3. Frequent Pauses or “Getting Stuck”
When your child pauses for a long time or tries repeatedly to say something, they might be trying to organize their thoughts. This can sometimes lead to frustration. Children often "get stuck" when speaking because they are trying to find the right words or arrange their thoughts before they speak. These moments can be frustrating for children, especially when they feel misunderstood. As parents, you can help by being patient, reducing pressure, and showing them different ways to express their thoughts.
If your child consistently repeats words or gets "stuck" when speaking, further evaluation for childhood-onset stuttering may be necessary. For any concerns about your child's speech fluency, please consult a speech-language therapist.
Supporting Communication at Home
Parents play a crucial role in helping their children feel comfortable expressing themselves. The home is the first place where children develop language skills, and it provides the perfect environment to support and nurture their communication abilities. By integrating simple, everyday habits into your routine, you can foster your child's confidence and help them build essential communication skills in a relaxed, encouraging atmosphere.
Use Open-Ended Questions to Encourage Expression
Instead of asking, "Did you have fun?" try, "What did you like most about today?" Open-ended questions stimulate your child's thinking and encourage them to articulate their thoughts. Questions that start with “How,” “What,” or “Why” prompt children to elaborate, helping them practice using more complex language. This type of questioning promotes language development and empowers children to express themselves more fully. Over time, this practice will help them improve both their vocabulary and their ability to engage in meaningful conversations.
2. Read and Talk Together to Build Vocabulary
Reading with your child is one of the most effective ways to expand their vocabulary. During reading sessions, take pauses to ask engaging questions like, “What do you think will happen next?” or “How does this part make you feel?” Encourage your child to describe the pictures, discuss the story, and even relate events to their own experiences. These conversations turn reading into an interactive, two-way activity that builds your child's vocabulary, comprehension, and ability to express ideas clearly.
3. Model Clear Speech to Set a Foundation
Children learn language through imitation, so it’s important to model clear and simple speech. Speak slowly and clearly, and repeat words and sentences correctly instead of directly correcting every mistake. This approach helps your child hear proper pronunciation and sentence structure, which in turn builds their confidence in speaking. By modeling instead of "correcting" a child's errors, you foster a supportive environment that encourages them to practice and refine their communication skills without fear of making mistakes. This approach helps them feel comfortable trying again and again.
When to Consider Professional Support
Considering professional input for your child's communication development is a proactive and positive step, not an indication of a problem. Many parents feel uncertain about seeking help, but an expert can offer valuable insights into your child's unique communication style, helping you understand their needs and effectively support their growth.
Early Screenings: A Proactive Approach
A simple speech screening can provide insight into your child's communication skills without pressure or formal diagnosis. These brief assessments, often offered at clinics, highlight areas where your child might benefit from extra help. While not diagnostic, they offer a valuable starting point for discussions with professionals. Early screenings allow you to quickly understand your child's abilities and determine the best course of action.
2. Personalized Speech-Language Support
Speech-language therapists are skilled at creating engaging and personalized therapy plans that align with your child's unique strengths and personality. They will assess your child's specific communication needs to develop a tailored strategy. This individualized approach focuses on leveraging your child's strengths while addressing areas that need further attention. The result is effective and enjoyable therapy that ensures your child feels supported throughout their journey.
3. Building Confidence and Social Engagement
Therapy goes beyond improving speech; it cultivates a child's ability to express themselves with confidence, fostering a sense of being heard and understood. By equipping children with the necessary tools, therapy enables them to articulate their needs, ideas, and emotions more clearly. This newfound confidence in communication encourages greater engagement in social interactions, leading to increased comfort in both school and family environments. Ultimately, consistent therapeutic support empowers children to flourish in all aspects of their lives.
Conclusion: Every Child Communicates Differently — And That’s Okay
Differences in communication are common and don’t always mean there’s a problem. With patience, daily support, and professional guidance, your child can grow into a confident communicator. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s helping them feel safe, understood, and supported.
If you’re unsure whether your child could benefit from extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at STEPS Therapies. We’re here to guide you through every step of the process.
Common Questions:
Q1: Is it normal for my child to talk differently from their peers?
A: Children acquire communication skills at varying rates. The key indicator of progress is consistent development. If you have concerns, a speech screening can provide insight into their current stage.
Q2: My child gets upset when trying to talk. Should I be concerned?
A: It's common for children to feel frustrated when they struggle to communicate clearly. This doesn't always signal a serious problem, but it can suggest a need for additional assistance. Observing these patterns and consulting a professional can be beneficial.
Q3: When should I consider consulting a speech-language therapist?
A: If your child exhibits several indicators such as unclear speech, frequent frustration, or challenges participating in conversations, consulting a speech-language therapist can offer significant clarity. Seeking early guidance is a proactive measure to help your child communicate more confidently.
